Sunday, 15 June 2008

LIVING WITH A DEATH SENTENCE.

I have COPD which is a lung disease which as caused me to have Pulmonery Hypertension which in turn as given me heart failure. There is no cure and I will be lucky to survive six may be seven more years.
At the moment I don`t know how I can carry on. How I can survive with this constant knot in my stomach, the never ending sleepless nights and the constant thoughts that go round and round in my head about hospitals, doctors, illness etc, etc.
I have to fight constantly to get through another day without screaming or crying. I am all alone, have no friends, no family.
One day I will stop all the medication, stop all the visits to the hospital move to somewhere restful and peaceful and just stay there alone until I die.
I would much rather die in heaven then the hell I am in at present.

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